INTERESTING STUFF ABOUT BLACK HOLES

DISCLAIMER :

This article may hurt your religious / political / racial sentiments. But in Science , it is always the truth that prevails. And the truth is that I don't give a fu*k to what you feel...

Now start reading the article in Morgan Freeman's voice.

Definition :

A black hole is basically the left out core of a dead star that is so huge in mass that even light can't escape its gravitational pull. That basically means nothing in the universe that ever comes too close to it can escape its pull...because nothing can possibly travel faster than light (Eh? what does that mean?) .The term "Black hole" was coined by  a racist white dude named John Archibald Wheeler , who thought that if some body "sucked at" everything, it must be black. Black holes are not very huge in diameter.. just a few hundred or sometimes a few dozen miles.. but can pack up mass of many of our "suns" in it.. that automatically translates to a density of around 10^28 kg/m^3

                         In-fact that's really really effing  high..Another lesser known fact : Scientists believe that there are also white-holes out there..The really cool stuff about this theory is that , Instead of being attractive, white holes emit stuff! they throw out random shit in all directions  (just like your mouth)! Of'course , there is no scientific proof that they exist, and none have been observed yet. But u can't arrest mad scientists for giving racist names or speculating and believing in  ridiculous theories.
They  would come up with anyyyything , but they will not accept that after years of research , they don't know s#it about what really goes on. Now that black holes pack up so many mysteries around them, they not only have evolved into a very attractive object in the universe, they have also evolved into a very attractive research subject..(get it..?how I fought racism by calling black holes attractive and saying that while holes emit shit?!Do I get your vote now ?)

 FAQS 

1. What is Event-Horizon, Why do geeks like Sheldon Cooper use such words?

Black holes have a zone around it called the event horizon, Anything that comes within this zone of a black hole will be gulped by black hole and can NEVER return back to the outside universe.. it's called event horizon, cuz its like an imaginary line beyond which nothing can be proven to exist ! That's because anything within this limit can never get out... I personally feel that this area has rainbow farting unicorns and the only female in the universe who will fall for me...(get it..?? another joke; 'fall' for me.. )By the way, People like Sheldon Cooper could have easily explained these theories in layman's terms but they intentionally  use complicated words because they are  condescending, frustrated arrogant faggots jealous of you because you have  a social life...

2. I am a muslim, and Amazingly, I am not a terrorist. So, Can I get 72 virgins, If I  jump into a black hole ??

I intentionally gave a religious angle to this question because  I want attention. Just like Bill Maher. 

Coming back to the actual question, If you were to get sucked into a black hole, you might either die within say 24 Km before even striking the event horizon; that is ,if the black hole  weighs  just around 8-10 solar mass(1 solar mass=mass of our dear Sun, that's 1.989*10^30Kgs only..). thats because the event horizon will be nearer to the black hole and thus, gravitational pull will stretch you into a noodle even before you reach pointofnoreturn.

But if the mass is a bit more bigger , say a thousand Suns, you sir, will actually manage to go through the pointofnoreturn ALIVE ! ! , yep that means you will basically vanish from the state of universe FOR-EVER, cuz u can't ever return back, but the universe won't vanish from your point of view, cuz light from around the universe can still enter inside. That's interesting because , If a friend of yours who was mad enough to accompany you on this suicide mission tries to see you from just outside the "event horizon", he will see nothing even if you are just  1 centi-meter inside the event horizon, but you will see him ! ! you exist and yet don't at this point !Unfortunately, you will not remain the master of the universe at  hide&seek for too long because you will get converted into noodles  within a few seconds of entering the event horizon. Not sure If 72 virgins are waiting for your noodle soup inside, But you might time-travel into a far far galaxy in the universe ! !  (into the future in some random planet called  Axe-Land in some far-away galaxy..where you face death by Snu-Snu ) , But that may or may not happen ! Scientists are still debating.Then again , If u die this way, God would surely give you chicks to have sex with ! I mean no one has ever died in such a uber-cool way !

3. "I really behaved like a world class jerk when I was young , Can I time-travel using a black hole so that I can punch my past-self for being a douche-bag??"

I know a lot of people who were just like you. And still are. But The answer is a Yes &  a No .

You can  time -travel. But only in the future and not in the past ! There are two reasons for it

           a. The obvious reason number one is that your God is a sadist and wants u to repent for your past decisions for the rest of your life. How else will he run his shop? he has to inject basic desires like 'lust' and 'greed' in your head, wait for those desires to cajole you into doing embarrassing and dirty stuff. And then, expect you to run behind him asking for forgiveness. He also made you too dumb to realise this concept.

And 

           b. If you could time travel in the past, you could change something in the past that will create a paradox , like kill your grandfather when he was a small boy ,for instance. This creates a paradox , because , if your grand-dad died like a pussy, by the hands of a kid , neither, your father should exist and nor should you ! But if u don't, how can you kill your grand-dad in the first place! some scientists believe that it may create a parallel universe, but well.. they believe a lot of other things, more shitty and crazier than Nikki-M'naj songs..... 

4. Are black-holes as common in the universe as a$$holes are on earth ??

Believe it or not, they are !, in fact there is one black hole chilling out at the center of our very own galaxy milky way..There are super massive black holes at the center of almost every galaxy ! And to give you an idea , There are more galaxies in the universe than there are sand particles in Sahara desert.
(It is amazing that we know so much about complicated stuff like nuclear physics and biology, but fail to explain their basic terminologies like, light, life, death ,how life started or how black holes work ..)  

5. Can black holes cook Italian food?

Yes, Of-course they do Stupid ! and they are so passionate about their cooking, Gordon Brown would forget swearing. They turn EVERYTHING into italian food; even you !
Once , you are near the event Horizon, you will get stretched to death and this is not actually some rocket-science phenomena, Its common sense... Since the gravitational effect of Black hole is really high, it would increase exponentially , even if you get nearer to it by a centi-meter.. Assuming that you are not a blood sucking tick (even though u look and behave like one), the lower part of your body will face upto 200,000 times the G force compared to your upper body and u will get stretched until u are ripped to pieces..! it is called spaghetti effect ! !